“You are not at the mercy of your emotions. You can control them.”
The above sentence got me digging into what emotions really are, and what can be done to control them, until I bumped into the term “Emotional Intelligence.” Emotional intelligence is the ability to identify, understand and manage the feelings and emotions of one’s self and others. Why do you need this?
You need emotional intelligence;
1. To make sound decisions
Making decisions solely on how you feel is not always the way to go, emotional intelligence helps you to make to make apt decisions by carefully weighing your options.
2. For effective leadership
Emotional intelligence prevents you from being perceived as “just crazy.” With emotional intelligence, you are able to keep a cool head and approach situations with confidence and control.
3. For relationship management
Relationships are the best assets anyone can boast of. However, a lack of emotional intelligence can ruin even the best, and strongest relationships.
4. For self awareness
This involves your ability to accurately perceive your own emotions in the moment, and understanding your tendencies across situations. Make sense of your emotions. Scrutinize your emotions. It is okay to feel the way you feel, so don’t suppress them, rather replace them. Most times, your emotions are influenced by your thoughts, people, words, and past experiences. Emotional intelligence helps you understand the source of your emotions, and how to influence them.
5. For self management
This involves managing your emotional reactions to situations and people. The ability to use the awareness of your emotions to stay flexible and direct your behavior positively. To do this, you must first recognize that you have a choice on how to respond to emotions, don’t go saying, “I didn’t have a choice, I was angry.” Dear, you have a choice. Detoxify your thought pattern. Most times, your reactions are not the best response to how you feel. I am sure you can do better, so how about thinking positive for a start. “Success comes to those who can put their needs on hold and continually manage their tendencies.
6. For social awareness
You must understand that if you think and feel, then other people do too. This ability to accurately pick up people’s emotions and to understand what is really going on with them is made possible through emotional intelligence. Practice active active listening, be observant and quick to notice mood change and body languages. Get a sense of what they are feeling; Be in their shoes. Click here to go to my article on “How to practice active listening.”
7. For relationship management
When you are aware of your own emotions, and that of the people around you, you will be able to manage your interactions successfully. This is achieved through the quality and depth of time you spend interacting with other people. Always give constructive criticism; Do not attack a person, rather attack their character. Be free to tell them how you feel about the way they act in the most polite manner.
ACTION POINTS
Do the following in order to develop emotional intelligence
- Do a self-evaluation.
- Examine how you respond to situations.
- Replace all negativity with positivity.
- Look for constructive ways to criticize.
- Do not criticize anyone, rather, criticize their characters constructively.
